Thursday, September 27, 2012

Have you had those days where you get up out of bed and you just want to crawl back in it and hide from the world because anything and everything you touch just goes wrong. Every step you take and every turn you make just is not right. And for every two steps forward it seems you take 20 steps backwards!
Yep, one of those days. Just want to crawl back into bed and wake up like it never even happened-a bad nightmare that only happened in my dreams. I already have a slew of those anyway-just chalk it up to another one.
And I can feel another one of those blasted Migraines coming on. Getting my abortives hopefully in time before it gets out of hand. Hopefully. Just seems like I got through one. Using the Migranal this time-doesn't burn like the Sprix does. And I've noticed I've been getting bloody nose more often. I've not had that problem before. Could it be the Sprix or the O2? I'be been using that moisturizer everday in my nostrils like Alicks Home Medical has instructed me to when they deliver my oxygen. They said that the inside of your nose will dry out when you use oxygen and to keep it moisturized. I see my neuro this coming Monday the 1st so we'll see what he has to say.
My whole scalp is sore, it hurts to brush my hair, so forget about washing my hair for now. I really need to re-phoney it, as I call it (color it) since my grays are just taking over. Been fighting those dasterdly rascals since my mid-late 20's, Why is it men look good, some look downright sexy with gray hair and us women look like hags-well, speaking for myself. Some women are beautiful with gray hair. I can picture some famous movie stars but those names are escaping me right now as the gray matter is not working right with names nor numbers at this moment. But I have seen some women out and about in Wal-Mart or at the doctors office that look amazing with gray hair. Me-UGH!!! I guess it's just a matter of perception, or how we see ourselves. We are our own worse critics-how we see ourselves is not how others see us, as a rule.
I wonder what the neuro has in store for me this coming Monday. I'm anxious. This will be my 1st attempt at driving myself in busy traffic. My 1st attempt at driving myself since I drove and got lost taking my puppy to the vet a couple of months ago. And to tell you the truth I'm pretty aprehensive. What if I get a panic attack. What if I get lost. What if I get a lousy migraine and my aura interferes with my driving ability. All these what ifs. And if it rains I have a harder time seeing. And it the traffic is heavy and someone tailgates me I get really, really anxious and then I can start to feel a panic attack coming on. Oh Lordy it's Thursday and I'm already getting all worked up. His office is in the downtown area. There are really no back roads there. Then in 2 more days I see my therapist right smack dab in the middle of downtown where there is road construction and detours. Oh, heaven help me. Next week is going to be a long hard and stressful week for me. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I'm going to have to try. I have no other choice. No alternatives. My best friend was taking me and she is getting married this Saturday and she will be on her honeymoon. She deserves this shot at happiness this time around, so she will be in her own little paradise, hopefully not worrying about me. She's done enough for me as it is. I'm not her baby she needs to coddle and fret over.
Yep, I can do this. I have to do this. God willing I will and can do this. I'll just run myself ragged going in circles, but it can be done. Right?
That being said I need to go put an ice pack on my head and a heating pad on my neck-my neck pain is really getting bad today.
Until next time folks be happy, be healthy and count your blessings.

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