Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Talking about Migraine Disease: How open I am Depends on who I am talking to

This has not been an easy 24 hours. The ole noggin has not been cooperating for sure. Keeping pretty much to myself as to not bother anyone around here, when they are around me that is, with my "irritating" illness that seems to be more of a burden to them that to myself. I really do need to get to a place to start to excercise because all the side effects of these medicines has really taken a toll and I have gained some weight that I really do not like nor do I need it. But what is a person to do? Pain or meds??
 The sun is just way too bright and I'm avoiding it at all costs, shut in with all the curtains and shades drawn shut like a vampire. I could swear I was smelling something burning but as of yet could not pin point anything so I was safe to assume it was yet again one of my migraine symptoms. Heaven help me if anything was ever truly on fire and I just ignored it thinking "oh well it's just my migraine symptom" until it was too late".
And of course my weather radio had to sound off it's weekly Wednesday test. I wanted to smash that into a million little pieces and that got the dogs all worked up-barking, yapping and howling. Yipes! My head is ready to spin around and explode as it is it sure doesn't need any more extra stimulation!
It's a wonder I can type this-I'm seeing those wavy sort of lines and flashy blinkie lights. Its a little hard to explain an aura when you get those distorted visual disturbances. And the partial blind spot in the Peripheral vision is a little alarming when you think you know where your going until you run into things you swear were not there a few seconds ago.
My little Paco buddy is staying close by me and is ready to cuddle. In fact after everybody left for work and I made myself eat breakfast we laid down for a little bit. I just forced down lunch and need to get the dishes tidied up a bit. I wish I could read today. It helps me when I can journal but when I see double it's of no use. Having this Migraine disease robs not only myself but thousands of others that suffer from the same disorder as well. But the pain. To try to explain to non-sufferers how horrible the pain is, they just look at you like you have 3 heads or something. God forbid, having 1 head is bad enough I could not imagine having to control this disease w/2 other heads on top of it all!
Why can't People get it! Why can't people just take the time to listen to you? Why can't people understand!? What is wrong with people that they turn a deaf ear to this desease and shut people out and tune us out?! Is it because it's not classified as a REAL disease in their illogical minds or illogical thinking?! I just don't get it. Can someone out there help me understand why Migraine Disease is so dicriminated against and what can a person do to be herd??!! And then to be understood!!!
This whole thing is not only painful beyond words and depressing, but the lack of support and the stigma attached to it only adds more to the depression and the isolation. What can a person do?
Again, not having a good day.
On this note I'm going to go cuddle with the only soul I have today that loves me no matter what. My little puppy dog Paco.
Until next time folks, I hope your all having a better day. Stay happy and stay well.

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